Why do distressing energies trouble seekers undertaking samashti sadhana?


1. Examples to indicate seeker’s sojourn towards God realisation

Special features of Sanstha’s ‘Subtle section’: Sanstha undertakes a social mission, that is of propagating Righteousness (Dharma) in society. As a majority of seekers of Sanstha strive for the sake of society (samashti), presently many of them are tormented by distressing energies. The reason for this is as follows. Distressing energies generally do not trouble those undertaking individual spiritual practice because those energies are not bothered if a few individuals undertake spiritual practice and attain the Final Liberation (Moksha). However spiritual practice done for the sake of society inspires many people in society to undertake spiritual practice. When this happens, the sattva component in the atmosphere starts increasing and the tama predominant distressing energies are consequently troubled by it. It is therefore that they start harrassing seekers and pose obstacles in their spiritual practice for the sake of society. For protection from distressing energies, it is absolutely essential for seekers to repeat (chant) The Lord’s Name continuously along with spiritual emotion. It is also imperative that the seeker should have a lot of spiritual emotion towards The Lord. However, an average seeker does not have that much spiritual emotion for God and so his repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name too does not occur along with spiritual emotion. Such seekers are easily troubled by distressing energies. Sanstha has set up a ‘Subtle section’ with seekers having a greater potential to perceive from the subtle dimension and to combat distressing energies so as to protect other seekers from distressing energies and to eliminate spiritual obstacles in the path of propagation of Righteousness (Dharma). Seekers in this section, pray unto The Lord with spiritual emotion and repeat (chant) The Lord’s Name with intense spiritual emotion and yearning. They ask The Lord questions during meditation and repeat (chant) The Lord’s Name as advised by The Lord. When they repeat (chant) His Name, The Lord assumes forms of various deities according to the requirement to destroy the distressing energy and does so.

Every seeker will certainly be curious to know how seekers from the subtle section have developed such intense spiritual emotion for The Lord. That is precisely why the biographies of some seekers from the subtle section with regard to their spiritual emotion for God have been described in brief below. This will teach us the indepth subtle introspection of every event in life carried out by them so as to develop spiritual emotion for The Lord.

2. Mrs. Jaya Shrivastava, Subtle section

A. Even as a child, I always wondered whether the obeisance I offered unto God actually reached Him: In childhood I loved to read stories about deities. At times I attended kirtans (spiritual discourses along with hymns in praise of The Lord) with my grandmother. Whenever I offered obeisance unto God I would wonder whether it actually reached Him.

B. During telephonic conversations, my mother-in-law constantly kept me informed about the Sanstha and advised me to repeat (chant) The Lord’s Name: Within a few years of my marriage, that is since July 2000 my in-laws commenced spiritual practice. At that time they lived in Mumbai and I at Boisar in Thane district. Despite my mother-in-law repeatedly telling me over the telephone about Sanstha and advising me to repeat (chant) The Lord’s Name, I was unable to do it.

C. Elimination of all doubts about Sanstha after seeing a subtle vision of Doctor’s smiling face despite repeatedly calling Him a ‘fake saint’ and the vision disappearing once I accepted His true form: In August 2001, when I was visiting my-in-laws in Mumbai, a bhandara (festival of distributing food for a spiritual purpose) had been organised at their place. When I looked at a photograph of H.H. Doctor kept there, I thought that like several other holy men He too must be a fake. That night when I slept with my daughter in that room, I had a vision of H.H. Doctor’s face. He was smiling at me. Though I kept telling Him that He was a fake and did not even offer Him obeisance, He continued smiling at me. Finally I surrendered unto Him and accepted that He was genuine. It is only then that the vision of His face disappeared. Even since I have never had any doubt about the Sanstha.

D. A discourse delivered by Mr. Aakash Joshi, a chief seeker of Sanstha undertaking the spread of Spirituality creating a good impact on my mind: It is the discourse delivered by Mr. Prakash Joshi that impressed the concept of Spirituality onto my mind and that of my husband. It inspired us greatly to undertake spiritual practice.

E. The first holy vision (darshan) of Doctor generating spiritual emotion within me: When we visited the Sansthaashram (hermitage) in Goa in September 2001, we saw H.H. Doctor for the first time. I was overwhelmed with His first holy vision. It seemed as if I had found something which I had lost.

F. The Lord teaching me to do every task as spiritual practice after praying unto Him to teach me to do it: Since September 2001, I undertook full time spiritual practice at the Sanstha ashram in Goa. I began to pray to The Lord ‘Teach me to undertake every task as spiritual practice.’ Gradually The Lord started teaching me everything and then I started becoming aware that doing any task to perfection is itself true spiritual practice.

G. Prayer occurring unto The Lord to bestow me with spiritual knowledge and blend me with His Name and to always keep me at His holy feet: In December 2001, gradually I began to perceive everything in the ashram as mine. Once H.H. Doctor told me, “Music itself is your spiritual practice.” So, thereafter I would ask H.H. Doctor queries about music everyday. When He would reply to my queries, I would feel grateful towards Him and feel overwhelmed. The prayer that I would constantly recite from within would be, ‘Lord, make me merge into Your Name by bestowing me with spiritual knowledge and always keep me at Your holy feet’

H. The Lord teaching me to render service with spiritual emotion (bhav), through the medium of other seekers: Since August 2002, I have been making gradual attempts to inculcate the virtues of other seekers in the ashram within me. This constantly kept me Blissful. One day I asked God, ‘Lord from whom should I imbibe the quality of spiritual emotion? In response The Lord asked me to learn it from Miss Sushma , Miss Aparna and Miss Prachi. I began to study their facial expressions. As The Lord unravelled the secret of rendering service with spiritual emotion to me, I kept learning. Gradually my repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name increased. When repeating (chanting) The Lord’s Name, I would see blue and yellow light before me.

I. The Lord granting me the opportunity to serve in the ‘Subtle section’ and my being able to perceive God in every seeker: By the grace of The Lord, in September 2002, I had the opportunity to render service in the subtle section. I was able to surrender every act unto God. Conversation with Him began to take place from within. I also started perceiving the presence of God in every seeker while talking to them. In fact, my prayer to The Lord became more often than my repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name. I learnt several things from H.H. Doctor. The desire for God realisation also grew. Whenever I shut my eyes during prayer or otherwise, I would see a blue and white circle. At times, I would see these circles even when the eyes were open. Slowly, God began to teach me how to ask questions and seek answers from Him.

J. The Lord endowing me with an opportunity to serve in the ‘Ego assuaging section’: In November 2002, while stressing on the need for seekers to lower their ego as soon as possible, H.H. Doctor said, “We are going to publish a booklet on ego. So, make some compilation on it on the computer.” When I sat down to compile them on the computer after praying to God, several concepts spontaneously emerged in my mind and I typed them. A discourse was compiled on this too. On several occasions, I have experienced that a mere resolve of The Lord is sufficient to accomplish a task.

K. Being able to draw pictures of ghosts after a prayer: In April 2003, despite not knowing how to draw, when I prayed I was able to draw sketches of ghosts spontaneously.

L. Getting the greatest spiritual experience of that of The Lord teaching me quickly to do everything: As I performed any task as soon as I was told by H.H. Doctor, The Lord began to teach me things instantly. This is my greatest spiritual experience. I pray unto The Lord to grant me the opportunity to learn something new continuously and to teach other seekers to undertake holistic spiritual practice.

3. Miss Aparna Barne, Subtle section

A. Curiosity about deities and saints and repetition (chanting) of the Name of Lord Shiva since childhood: My father always told me stories about deities. I liked reading holy verses (pothi) as well. Since twelve years of age, I would contemplate on where God was, what He looked like, what I had to do to merge with Him, etc. Using my intellect, with the intention of realising God, I began to repeat (chant) the Name of my favourite deity, i.e. Lord Shiva since childhood. I was curious about how people attained sainthood, Their mission in life, whether I would be able to achieve sainthood, etc.

B. Feeling that ‘H.H. Doctor is The Lord that I was thinking about for so long’ after seeing Him for the first time at a public discourse: We were financially not well-off. Since childhood I would narrate everything to The Lord. My brother attended satsangs (spiritual meetings) organised by the Sanstha. He would advise me to repeat (chant) the Name of our family deity. However since Lord Shiva was my favourite, I did not follow his counsel. When my father expired, for eight days and nights I repeated (chanted) the Name of our family deity. After a fortnight, I attended the public discourse delivered by H.H. Doctor at Bicholim, Goa. The moment I saw Him, I knew He was The Lord I was thinking about. I was sure I would find everything at His feet. Prior to this, I had neither seen a picture of H.H. Doctor nor heard of His Name.

C. My repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name occurring smoothly after this vision of Doctor and development of an attitude of learning from other seekers after beginning to stay in the ashram (hermitage): Ever since I saw H.H. Doctor, my repetition (chanting) of my family deity’s Name occurred smoothly. Within a month, the Sanstha started satsangs in our village. I felt as if The Lord had begun them for my sake. I received further spiritual guidance from Mr. Suraj Joshi. In the beginning I got opportunities to deliver the ‘Prabhat’ to subscribers, to set up bookstalls of the Sanstha and to propagate Spirituality along with other seekers in order to conduct any programme organised by the Sanstha. Since I would be away from home to render service, my family began to oppose these activities of mine. Thereafter I was endowed with the opportunity of serving in the ashram at Goa for eight hours everyday. Although I did not know anything about the service there, I always harboured the attitude of learning from the other seekers in the ashram.

D. Family opposition to my spiritual practice and my prayer to The Lord being answered in the form of receiving permission from my mother to serve The Lord: As I would remain outside home while rendering service most of the time, my family began to oppose this. They had a meeting and decided to stop me from all such activity. However when I prayed unto The Lord, my mother gave me permission to render service.

E. Feeling the presence of divine qualities in every seeker and realising that The Lord is teaching me something through the medium of that seeker: When rendering service in the ashram, I would perceive the qualities of The Lord in every seeker and would become aware that He is teaching me something through the medium of that seeker. Dr. Sawant gave me further guidance in spiritual practice. In the ashram, I was allotted the task of looking after the reception counter. When doing this task if someone lost his temper with me, I would converse with H.H. Maharaj whose photograph was in the room. At that time, I would feel as if I were narrating everything to none other than H.H. Doctor.

F. Intense faith in God that He will ferry me across through service alone and also sensing that this ashram is akin to that of ancient sages: Through little incidents H.H. Doctor taught me how to undertake spiritual practice. I would constantly remain aware that this is a divine mission and that H.H. Doctor was getting this task done from me. That is why no matter what the nature of the service was, I was always in Bliss (Anand) when doing it. I firmly believed that it is through this service itself that God would make me progress on the spiritual path. My spiritual emotion towards all the seekers was the same as it was for H.H. Doctor. I would feel that we seekers in the ashram (hermitage) were indulging in spiritual practice in a group just as the ancient sages did in their times.

G. Doctor advising me that my motivation to realise God should increase and my harbouring the spiritual emotion (bhav) that God is teaching through every incident: Once H.H. Doctor told me that my motivation to realise God should increase. This taught me how I needed to develop the attitude of learning. It is The Lord Himself who provides guidance and gets a task performed from oneself. God only expects one to make efforts. That is why I harboured the spiritual emotion that The Lord Himself teaches me through every incident.

H. Divine consciousness (chaitanya) from The Lord entering through the Sahasrar chakra of the kundalini (spiritual energy) and Doctor telling me that my human life has been fulfilled by joining Sanstha: As I was able to render service amidst repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name, I experienced Bliss continuously. Once during meditation, I experienced that my Sahasrar chakra in the head opened and divine consciousness began to enter through it. When I narrated this to H.H. Doctor He said, “Your life has been fulfilled by joining Sanstha.” At that time, I prayed to The Lord to perpetually keep me at His holy feet.

I. Opportunity to serve in the ‘Subtle section’ of the Sanstha and my prayer unto The Lord to grant every seeker, the opportunity to learn so as to evolve spiritually: By the grace of The Lord, I got an opportunity to serve in the ‘Subtle section’. My prayer unto the Guru would occur spontaneously as per the need of the seeker. H.H. Doctor sent me to the in-charge of the ‘Subtle section’ in Sangli, Dr.(Sadhika) to learn. There I learnt how spiritual practice for the sake of the society (samashti) should be done, how to speak and behave with distressing energies, the nature of the saviour and destroyer forms of The Lord, etc. My earnest prayer unto The Lord is to teach me something new through every incident and to grant every seeker similar opportunities so as to make spiritual progress.

4. Miss Prachi Rathi, Subtle section, Goa

A. Liking for deities since childhood: I liked deities a lot specially Lord Ganapati and Lord Shrikrushna since childhood. [All seekers of the Sanstha repeat (chant) the Names of these two deities to nullify the black magic done on the Sanstha.] I loved to hear and read stories about deities and developed an intense desire to see God. After reading stories about saints, I would wonder whether I too would be able to have such intense devotion for The Lord.

B. Habit of praying since childhood: I used to pray since childhood. In the beginning, I would pray for myself, then my family and later on after I began spiritual practice I began to pray for other seekers too.

C. Habit of behaving as per other’s wishes: From the very beginning, I was habituated to doing things as others wished and not as per my own wishes.

D. Feeling that God is doing everything for my sake when satsangs (spiritual meetings) were commenced near my residence: Though I had faith in God, I did not like to attend satsangs. Once when visiting my relatives, they coaxed me to attend a satsang which was being held in a temple quite far away from their residence but I refused flatly. However for some reason, the venue was changed suddenly to a Ganapati temple just two minutes away from their residence. Once again they asked me to attend the satsang. Then I thought, ‘God has shifted the venue of the satsang nearby only for my sake. God is doing so much for me but I am not even looking at Him!’ Ever since, I started attending satsangs regularly. After attending satsangs once or twice, I developed a liking for them.

E. An opportunity to serve Doctor in the Goa ashram and His guiding my spiritual practice appropriately: After attending a few satsangs, I received further guidance in spiritual practice from Mr. Prakash. At first, I got a chance to serve at the bookstalls of the Sanstha and to propagate Spirituality along with other seekers to organise any programme of the Sanstha. Thereafter, I got an opportunity to serve in the ashram at Goa full time. I harboured the attitude of learning from other seekers, since I did not know anything about that form of service. When H.H. Doctor started living in the ashram, I got an opportunity to serve Him. It is at this point that true spiritual emotion was generated within me. H.H. Doctor Himself guided me further in spiritual practice appropriately. He taught me how to learn through minor incidents.

F. Prayer unto Doctor to perpetually keep me at His holy feet and to enhance my attitude to learn: If someone shouted at me when rendering service, I would feel hurt and weep. I would however narrate all this to H.H. Doctor in my mind and ask Him for strength to endure the grief. I would also pray to Him to always keep me at His holy feet and to make me develop the attitude of learning new things.

G. Spiritual emotion for H.H. Doctor: Sometimes I would sit all by myself and recollect H.H. Doctor’s conversations and behaviour. I would think about a funny incident through which He tried to teach me something and smile to myself. When talking about Him I would get overwhelmed. I could never find enough words to narrate to others what I wanted to say about H.H. Doctor.

H. Not feeling inferior while performing any kind of service: I never felt inferior when rendering service of any kind. On the contrary, I would be aware that I would make spiritual progress only through the service allotted to me according to God’s wish.

I. Feeling unhappy that I had troubled The Lord Himself if other seekers were disturbed by my behaviour: If other seekers were adversely affected because of any of my mistakes, I would feel unhappy as if I had troubled The Lord Himself.

J. Feeling Doctor’s tender touch on my head when rendering service and my eyes swelling with tears on remembering Him: When serving H.H. Doctor, unless I did a task to perfection, I would feel dissatisfied. My mind constantly became aware of what I had to do to win the grace of H.H. Doctor and to progress spiritually. No matter how hard I worked all day through, I would be enthusiastic about still rendering more service. When doing so, H.H. Doctor’s affectionate hand would fondle my head (subtly) and thinking about Him would make me cry.

K. Perceiving every seeker as a miniature form of The Lord and Sanstha to be one big family: I had the same spiritual emotion for other seekers as I had for H.H. Doctor. I always felt that ‘Every seeker is a miniature form of The Lord and Sanstha is one big family. All the seekers in that family are my siblings. I am a part of that family and The Lord has drawn me into it.’

L. God endowing me with further knowledge due to constant prayer to The Lord: I always perceived myself as a medium when performing any task and The Lord Himself as the doer of everything. We are mere puppets in His hands and our movements are manipulated by Him. Whenever I began a task, I would pray unto The Lord to get it done as per His expectations. With time, The Lord would suggest how to pray unto the Guru, how my service would be effective, how to establish a rapport with seekers, etc. As I kept praying unto The Lord constantly, He went on imparting me with further knowledge.

5. Miss Sushma Mane, Subtle section, Goa

5.1 Love and faith for God since childhood

A. Contemplation and worship of God since childhood: Since childhood, I loved listening to stories about deities. I would get so absorbed in them that I would literally forget myself at that time. I loved God very much. I often wondered what He looked like. I would fight and talk to Him because of our poverty. It is since childhood that I have been worshipping God.

B. Even as a child, feeling that I have no one other than God and that He alone can do everything: I believe that I have no one other than God. Only He can do everything for me and that I should do exactly as He desires. If I were rude to someone, I felt it would hurt The Lord. If family members fought, then God Himself would punish them is what I always felt in childhood.

5.2 Motivation to undertake spiritual practice

A. Intense motivation to undertake spiritual practice after reading the holy text ‘The Disciple’ published by Sanstha: When studying in class XII, I commenced attending satsangs (spiritual meetings) conducted by Sanstha. Then, I was not very convinced about the importance of spiritual practice. I was only aware about repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name. Since I loved studying, I read the holy text ‘The Disciple’ published by the Sanstha. When I read about how a disciple should behave, what qualities he should inculcate in himself, how the Guru assists him in life, etc. my spiritual emotion of gratitude for the Guru increased and I cried. This was followed by augmentation in my motivation to undertake spiritual practice. I made a firm resolve to make great efforts so as to become a good disciple. It is at this juncture that my spiritual practice began in the true sense.

B. Having the singular objective of spiritual practice just as Arjun saw only one eye of the bird which was his target: When I tried to devote all my time to spiritual practice, my mother opposed me a lot. She began to make me aware of my duties. But I yearned to do spiritual practice. My state was akin to Arjun seeing only one eye of the bird, his target.

5.3 Spiritual emotion for God

A. Feeling affectionate towards my mother despite her beating me for returning home late at night and harbouring the spiritual emotion (bhav) that God Himself was giving me the strength to endure all this: My mother was opposed to my spiritual practice. Once I attended the discourse delivered by Mr. Prakash Joshi (a chief seeker of the Sanstha propagating Spirituality). Since I came home late, my mother beat me up. Yet I did not feel anything about it and felt that it was God who was giving me the strength to endure all this.

B. Surrendering my worldly duties which my mother was making me aware of, unto God: When I tried to devote all my time to spiritual practice, I had to face stiff opposition from my mother. She began to make me aware of my duties. So I prayed unto God, ‘I wish to do only spiritual practice. I do not want anything else in life. Since You are the doer and caretaker of everything in the universe, I surrender all my duties unto Your holy feet.’

C. Harbouring the spiritual emotion that everything will be well by the grace of The Lord despite severe opposition from my mother towards my practising Spirituality: Since I rendered service unto the Absolute Truth (satseva) every evening after work, I would reach home only by 9.30 p.m. When I returned home, my mother would reprimand me saying, “You neither work nor render service towards God. Stay at home alone.” My mother’s resistance towards my spiritual practice was growing. On the other hand, my resolve to devote all my time to Spirituality was becoming stronger. I would narrate every encounter of mine with my mother to The Lord and weep at His feet. At the same time, every moment I harboured the spiritual emotion that God was testing me and He alone would do everything.

D. Strengthening of the spiritual emotion that ‘other than God, no one will help me’ to become a full time seeker because of lack of help from others: After a few days I was removed from my job. Even at that time I would pray, ‘I do not desire any worldly pleasures. If only I get a chance to render service unto the Absolute Truth then it will be equivalent to all the worldly pleasures in the world.’ Time and again, I told all the seekers from Bicholim that I wished to become a full time seeker. However the seeker in-charge there did not pay any heed to my requests due to my mother’s opposition. This augmented my spiritual emotion that none other than The Lord Himself would help me.

E. Feeling that The Lord is testing me when rebuked by another seeker: Once, despite a seeker reprimanding me, I did not feel upset. On the contrary, I felt that it was God Himself who was scolding me and testing whether I could continue spiritual practice in these circumstances as well. I would tell The Lord, ‘I am Your servant. Anyone who tries to boss over me is my master.’

F. Feeling that even for development of the awareness that God is getting everything done from oneself, one needs to be that much devoted unto Him: The only place where one can seek shelter is the holy feet of The Lord. To realise that actually God is the doer, that He is getting everything done from oneself, one needs to harbour that much devotion unto Him.

5.4 Seeing God in others

A. Feeling love for my mother as a form of The Lord, despite her rebuking and beating me because I went to render service unto God: Though I had intense yearning to become a full time seeker from within, my mother wanted me to take up a job. I would undertake the task of searching for a job, as service unto the Guru. In fact, I would pray to God for a job in Bicholim (the seeker resides at Bicholim). The motive behind that prayer was to get free time after my job so that I could undertake the task of propagating Spirituality. Though outwardly I was searching for a job, inwardly I knew all along that I wanted to only undertake spiritual practice. People who had started searching for jobs later than me would find them but I remained without one. When I would return home jobless, my mother would rebuke me severely saying, “Your destiny itself is bad.” Since I harboured the spiritual emotion (bhav) that my mother was also a form of The Lord, no matter how much she reprimanded me I always felt affection for her.

B. Harbouring the spiritual emotion that The Lord Himself was allotting me various tasks in the form of different seekers: When any seeker allotted me a task, I would feel that The Lord Himself was asking me to do it. I would also feel that The Lord was allotting it to me knowing that I would certainly do it.

C. Feeling bad and crying that I had insulted The Lord when I was rude to someone: If occasionally I happened to speak harshly to a seeker, I would feel deeply hurt and cry from within thinking that I had insulted The Lord Himself.

5.5 Spiritual emotion towards the Guru

A. Constantly praying unto The Lord to make me sing the glory of my Guru all the time: I constantly pray, ‘O Lord, please do not let me talk about my worldly happiness. May I only praise my Guru. May my eyes see only my Guru’s form.’

B. Avoiding talking to Doctor so as not to trouble Him despite knowing fully well that doing so would eliminate my distress as experienced earlier: On 6th May 2003, I attended the annual religious festival (jatra) of deity Lairai at Asnoda in Goa. From the very next day, I developed physical distress. On many occasions before, merely speaking to H.H. Doctor had relieved me of such physical pain hence I secretly wished that He would phone so that I could speak to Him. Finally I did telephone Him but did not get the connection. Then from within, The Lord spoke thus, ‘I endow you with energy through My subtle form and take care of you through My gross form in the form of seekers. What else will you discuss with H.H. Doctor ? He is busy with His vast mission for the sake of society.’ Two days later H.H. Doctor telephoned Miss Prachi. At that time I felt, ‘I have a terrible cold. I can barely speak. Will not the Guru, my God be distressed by my speech ? Since He will not be able to comprehend what I speak, it is best not to unnecessarily waste His time.’

C. Harbouring the spiritual emotion that every moment belongs to the Guru and that I am able to live this moment only because of Him: There is only one thought in my mind, ‘Every moment belongs to my Guru. It is because of Him that I live hence I should utilise every moment constantly for His mission alone.’

5.6 Gratitude towards God and seekers

A. Feeling grateful to God for granting me the opportunity to serve Him: When rendering service unto the Absolute Truth (satseva), I would feel thankful for it as I was not assured of receiving a similar opportunity the following day. That is why when offered any service, I would grab the chance to do it. Each time out of gratitude to The Lord for giving me the opportunity to do service, I would cry.

B. I would tell The Lord that all my thoughts, knowledge and detachment (vairagya) were a result of His grace: Once when repeating (chanting) The Lord’s Name, I felt, ‘Lord, You dwell in my conscience (antahkaran). You alone grant me worldly and spiritual experiences. All my thoughts, knowledge and detachment are because of Your grace. Please remind me to repeat (chant) Your Name all the time. May I perform every task according to Your will and Your command.’

C. Feeling grateful to The Lord for being able to serve seekers: I have offered everything unto the holy feet of my Guru. This loving countenance of The Lord makes me feel that I have found everything in the world. Every moment I pine for His love. Seekers are forms of The Lord and being able to serve them is my good fortune. Hence I constantly harbour a feeling of gratitude towards God and seekers.

5.7 Prayer

A. Praying that everything should occur as per The Lord’s wish even in childhood: When I was a student of class VIII, my younger sister fell down from the staircase. Everyone had given up hope of her survival. But I lit a lamp and prayed to The Lord, ‘May events occur as You wish. You are the bestower of life. We are mere puppets in Your hands who dance to Your tune. We will do as per Your bidding.’ By the grace of The Lord, my sister recovered from her illness.

B. Praying unto The Lord that may my mind pine for Him, just like a fish out of water: I prayed unto The Lord, ‘O Lord, I desire nothing in this world other than You. Being able to serve You is equivalent to all the happiness in the world. If You call me ‘Yours’, my life will be more than fulfilled. Just as a fish struggles out of water, may my mind yearn for You with Your remembrance. May it only get thoughts of spiritual practice. I offer all my worldly affairs and the rest of my life unto Your holy feet.’

C. Prayer unto The Lord to retain my spiritual emotion and devotion for Him even if He forgets me: The prayer that I unconsciously made unto The Lord was ‘O Lord, it does not matter if You forget me. I will not mind if You do not give me anything or always give me grief but please retain my spiritual emotion (bhav) and devotion for You.’

D. Constant prayer unto the holy feet of the Guru that He should get service done from me as per God’s expectations: All the time the subtle form of The Lord keeps vigil over me and does everything for me. It is only when tears would roll down my cheeks that I would realise the amount of spiritual emotion that I harboured for God in my mind (antahkaran). A continuous prayer which would occur unto the Guru’s holy feet would be ‘Please get service done from me as per God’s wish’ because eventually the Guru has to bear the brunt of all the careless mistakes we make.

E. When severely ill, a prayer unto The Lord to eliminate all the attachments and desires for my physical body: When I was severely ill, I was suffering a lot. Although I was quite motivated to render service from within, I could not do it. Then spontaneously a prayer unto the holy feet of The Lord began to occur, ‘O Lord, do not keep any attachment or desire for this physical body in me. May my death occur Blissfully while serving You.’

5.8 Blessings from a saint

A. Parulekar Maharaj’s telling me that Doctor Himself would do everything for me and that I would be able to realise God even while living in society: H.H. Parulekar Maharaj from Sindhudurg district told me, “H.H. Doctor Himself will do everything for you. He loves you as much as you love Him. He endures all your grief. You have a lot of knowledge. Later in life, you will receive knowledge from the God principle and utilise it for the sake of society. You will realise God even while living in society.”

5.9 Spiritual experiences

A. Not feeling distressed despite being tired when rendering service unto the Absolute Truth by harbouring the spiritual emotion that it is the Guru’s directive: Once I was very restless and tired and not in a mood to do any service. Sadhika told me that we had to prepare khir (a sweet delicacy prepared from milk). Though indisposed, perceiving it to be the directive of the Guru, I obeyed and did not experience any distress.

B. Events occurring as desired

  • Experiencing Bliss at the first meeting with Doctor and fulfillment of my desire to become a full time seeker: When harbouring the strong desire to become a full time seeker I happened to attend the thread ceremony of the son of Dr. Pandurang Marathe (one of the chief seekers of the Sanstha propagating Spirituality) where H.H. Doctor had come. The moment I saw Him, I felt very eager to offer obeisance to Him. Making a firm resolve, when I touched His feet in obeisance, I experienced immense Bliss. I was feeling like crying with the vision of the manifest form of God. H.H. Doctor asked me, ‘What do you do at home ?’ At that time, I wept and told Him, ‘I want to become a full time seeker but my mother does not allow me to render service’. It was at this juncture that He bestowed His grace upon me and I got the opportunity to render service at the Madgao centre of the Sanstha.
  • The Lord fulfilling my desire to live in the Guru’s home: When residing at Madgao, I used to attend satsangs (spiritual meetings) at the Phonda ashram (hermitage). Then, I used to think how fortunate the seekers working in the Phonda ashram were because they could learn directly from The Lord and could also get a holy vision (darshan) of Him everyday. Once I happened to go to the Phonda ashram to render service in preparation for the Panchamukhi Hanumatkavach sacrificial fire (yadnya) to be held there. I wished to spend the night in my Guru’s home there but due to lack of place, I was sent to another seeker’s house. I wept because this desire of mine was not fulfilled but then I realised that a seeker’s home was also my Guru’s. Because of my intense desire to live in the Guru’s home, very soon The Lord gave me the opportunity to render service in the Phonda ashram.

C. Events occurring according to the prayer

  • Realising the examination questions in advance due to a prayer unto The Lord: I used to study hard both in school and college but I could not remember it. I would tell God, ‘I am studying but You are the one who gets the answers written appropriately from me.’ I would realise the questions which would appear in the paper in advance and study accordingly.
  • Getting an opportunity to render service despite opposition from my mother, after praying to God: After my class XII examinations, my mother’s opposition to my spiritual practice grew. She refused to send me out to render service. Then I would pray to God. Then all of a sudden, she would change her mind and would allow me to go. After some time, she would oppose me once again.
  • The Lord helping me through the medium of seekers after praying

    1. The Lord applying holy ash (vibhuti) to my forehead through the medium of a seeker when I had a headache: Once when I had a terrible headache, I prayed unto The Lord. The Lord in the form of Miss Radhatai applied holy ash to my forehead and caressed my forehead. I was overwhelmed because the realisation that God in His subtle form takes care of even small details in our lives, dawned upon me.

    2. Feeling exhausted while rendering service alone and The Lord sending me another seeker for assistance: Once I was alone in the Madgao centre of the Sanstha to render service. There was no one for assistance. I thought to myself, ‘The Lord has given me this opportunity. Perhaps I would not get such an opportunity again.’ I prayed to God that though I wished to serve Him, it was beyond my physical capacity and asked for strength to render service. Just then The Lord, in the form of Sadhak reached there.

  • Being able to cook after a prayer: After I came to stay at the Madgao centre of the Sanstha, I was endowed with the task of helping Sadhika in the kitchen. In the beginning, I could not cook. However the prayer that The Lord Himself is teaching me and getting service done from me began occurring spontaneously and unknowingly I was able to render various kinds of service appropriately.
  • Prayer unto Doctor bringing absoluteness in my service: When I came to stay in the Phonda ashram, at first I got an opportunity to serve in the kitchen. This was the first time that I was serving in such a big centre. Initially, I was unsure if I would be able to do everything. Once looking at me H.H. Doctor said, “You will gradually learn everything” and I did. Within a fortnight, the responsibility of managing the entire kitchen came to me. Besides learning, this included teaching others. At that time, the prayer which I spontaneously recited unto H.H. Doctor was, ‘I am an ant, I am ignorant. You are the one who is actually doing everything. Please get this task done from me.’ I would soon get the spiritual experience that my prayer had reached H.H. Doctor because thereafter, I would be doing that task perfectly in a planned manner.
  • Becoming aware that repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name was occurring even in my sleep as per my prayer: I have a great motivation to serve The Lord and hence feel like doing so even at night. However, since other seekers are asleep, I too have to sleep. So I pray unto The Lord to get spiritual practice done from me during sleep too and I realise that my repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name is going on in sleep.

D. Premonition about father’s death: I would get a premonition about an impending illness or death in the village. When in class X, about five days before the death of my father, I knew that he would experience severe distress and die and this is exactly what happened.

E. Spiritual experience of the existence of God

  • Experiencing the existence of God and telling Him, ‘I am an orphan without You’: Once I realised that The Lord was lovingly stroking my head with His hands. He was taking away my tears and blessing me. So I said to Him, ‘O God, I am an orphan without You.’

F. Spiritual experiences during meditation

  • The Lord advising during meditation to sleep under Doctor’s bed when ill, receiving energy in the form of rays from Doctor and also seeing a vision during meditation that Doctor and deities are taking care of me during my illness: On the night of 9th May 2003, I had high fever. (H.H. Doctor was out of town since 26.4.2003.) When meditating, The Lord told me to sleep under H.H. Doctor’s bed. He said that would endow me with energy and would lower my temperature. I complied with these instructions. I perceived that at that time, H.H. Doctor was sleeping on the bed and transmitting energy to me in the form of rays. This was followed by a vision during meditation in which H.H. Doctor was putting me (in the form of a baby) to sleep in the form of my mother. He stroked by head affectionately. This was followed by assumption of my mother’s form by the seven deities. Every deity was eager to place me on Their laps and gave me medication. In fact, all of them earnestly took care of me.
  • Seeing two seekers along with me as babies and Lord Maruti combating distressing energies holding these babies against His abdomen, during meditation: On 6th May 2003, I along with Miss Prachi and Miss Aparna from the ‘Subtle section’ were immensely troubled by distressing energies. During meditation, I saw a vision in which all three of us were babies crying for energy, just as babies do with their mother. Lord Maruti had drawn all three of us onto His abdomen and was combating the distressing energies.

G. Perceiving Doctor’s bed to be His physical body and feeling the Blissful frequencies emanating from different objects in His room: On 26th April 2003, H.H. Doctor was out of town I was sitting in His room with my head resting on His bed. At that time, I perceived the bed as the physical body of H.H. Doctor. I felt as if the bed were my mother and I were a child on her lap. I perceived H.H. Doctor caressing my head gently like my mother. The other inanimate objects in His room seemed to express the Bliss (Anand) that they experienced when rendering service and are narrating about their service unto H.H. Doctor.

H. Spiritual experiences suggestive of spiritual progress

  • Spiritual experiences of the existence of God from time to time due to the spiritual emotion (bhav) that I am doing everything for God alone and feeling certain that I would progress spiritually: Due to the spiritual emotion that I am doing everything in life for God alone, I began to feel the presence of God from time to time. I began to realise that it was He alone who was getting the repetition (chanting) of The Lord’s Name and service done from me. I wished to blend with Him as soon as possible. Since I am in the Sanstha, I firmly believed that The Lord would make me a saint
  • On developing intense gratitude for God, His telling me, ‘Child, you are walking on thorns but I have placed My hands under your feet’: Once when reciting the Shivakavach (holy verse), I wept bitterly from within because I felt that The Lord had given me so much that even offering my life for Him would not repay His debt. Irrespective of the number of births we take, we will never be able to repay The Lord. We do not have anything to offer Him, yet He has drawn us so close to Him. At that juncture, from within my conscience (antahkaran) The Lord spoke, ‘Child, though you are walking on thorns, My hands are under your feet.’
  • The Lord telling me that He is within me: One day I did not see the manifest form of The Lord. I questioned The Lord why this had happened and He responded, ‘I am already within you.’
  • Realisation of the importance of my bodily organs when I prayed to God on my birthday and His telling me that my body now belonged to Him: On my birthday, my gratitude for God grew and I had a thought, ‘O Lord, may these eyes get a vision of You alone. May this mouth always repeat (chant) Your sweet Name. May these ears hear only Your Name and that what is taught at the satsangs (spiritual meetings). This body is meant to serve You. This mind is devoted unto Your holy feet.’ At that juncture, I prostrated before The Lord completely. Then The Lord said, ‘Child, now your body belongs to Me and I Myself am getting service done through it.’

I. Seeker getting as much energy and divine consciousness (chaitanya) as another seeker who was obtaining it by speaking to Doctor, through her subtle body which entered that of the latter: On 8th May 2003, when Miss Kavita was speaking to H.H. Doctor on the telephone, my subtle body entered her body. Thus I could hear everything that H.H. Doctor was telling Kavita and obtained the same amount of energy and divine consciousness as her.

5.10 Offering gratitude

The Lord has given me so much that I will never be able to repay my debt unto Him. He is both my mother and father. I have no one other than God.


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